All credit is due to good friend Russ Edwards for this one. I have known Russ for about six years. I continue to be astounded by his database of widely-forgotten 80’s music. By “widely-forgotten”, I mean that these songs were–by some means other than their actual creative/artistic worth–widely (or subconsciously) known, but almost completely washed from the popular mind with time, often now relegated to the realm of music one hears while on hold with a photocopier repair center.

This video is a perfect example of Russ’ gift.

Why did you know and forget this song? It was featured on the Short Circuit soundtrack. That’s why.

It’s bad for all the usual 1980’s reasons. But, what makes it worse is how absolutely confusing it all is. Perhaps a shoulder-padded Le DeBarge fan could enlighten me, but as I see it, there are three layers to the video that dysfunction off of each other.

• The Lyrics – confusing to begin with, they have something to do with a playful relationship about a girl who teases the target of her flirtations by acting as though she doesn’t know him(?). whatever the case, it doesn’t work. A note to all aspiring songwriters: jumping back and forth between perspectives of male and female rarely works well–for one, spoken (or sung) word doesn’t translate quotation marks very well (or at all). And, really, when you have a singer such as this one, inviting any more sexual ambiguity into the equation only adds to the creepy awkwardness.
• Goofy Courtroom Setting – Why all this is taking place in a courtroom? Why people get sprayed with a firehose? Why the fireman kick-line? Why not?
• Movie Allusions – soundtrack videos seem to have the obligatory inundation with tie-ins to the movie. Not only does this one have the footage from the movie, but they also managed to get the the lead actress from Short Circuit. However, they apparently couldn’t land the movie’s robot star, Johnny 5 (they were able to get a very Johnny 5-esque hand that makes plenty of cameos, reaching from off-screen). However, I don’t think any of this could be counted as a tie-in. The very term seems to hint at some type of logical, thematic stitching of the music video and the movie.

The dialogue created by these layers smashed together makes amounts to babble… good, old-fashioned, uninspired babble.

Wikipedia:

The band was assembled in 1977 by Jacques Morali and Henri Belolo, specifically to showcase and perform their disco music creations. The original ad for recruiting the group was “Macho Types Wanted: Must Have Moustache” and was placed by Jacques Morali in 1976. Much like Frank Farian’s Boney M or The Spice Girls, the group was manufactured. Despite the French songwriters, the songs were all in English.

The band’s name references New York City’s Greenwich Village neighborhood, at the time known for having a substantial gay population. Jacques Morali and Henri Belolo got the inspiration for creating an assembly of American man archetypes based on the gay men of The Village who frequently dressed in various fantasy ways.

Wikipedia:

Her next attempt was the release of her biggest single ever, “Automatic Lover” (also 1978), a hit all over the world. A futuristic song about a robot who falls in love with an intergalactic girl, the song reached #4 on the UK Singles Chart, #1 in Brazil, Argentina, Italy, France, Spain, Turkey, Germany and Japan. In Brazil the success was so huge that the Brazilian media produced its own version of Dee D. Jackson. A Brazilian girl (Regina Shakti) dressed like Jackson, and along with her robot and a meteor man, were introduced on TV programs there as the real Dee D. Jackson.

…Mofo TV?

Everyone can thank comrade David Shook for DDHD’s obligatory dose of “The Hoff”. This little gem made it to number #12 and #19 on the charts in Germany and Switzerland, respectively.

Thank you, The Dartmouth Review:

“There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me.” -David Hasselhoff

Wikipedia:

They were previously known as Two Tons O’ Fun… The current members of the group are sisters Dynelle Rhodes and Ingrid Arthur, who are the daughters of [one of the original members], who died in 2004. They released a new Weather Girls album titled, Totally Wild in late 2005. It scored a huge #1 underground club hit with “Wild Thang.” Like the original Weather Girls, the duo has proven very successful with its gay male core audience.

This is a warmly welcomed submission from comrade John Stuart for a Sabbath edition of DDHS.

An insightful comment from random YouTube user reads, “He looks like a mix between Dave Coulier and John Stamos!”

Unfortunately, I can dig up no info on this one. Basically, it is Finnish cover of “YMCA”.