Posts archived in Health & Fitness

June 13, 2008

Epic Oral Hygiene Failure

purÂ·pose – noun – something set up as an object or end to be attained

merriam-webster.com, 2008

Crest Pro-Healthâ„¢ Toothpaste and Rinse are each uniquely formulated to provide comprehensive oral care benefits.

crest.com, 2008

The following are reviews submitted by users on the individual Crest Pro-Health rinse and Crest Pro-Health toothpaste amazon.com pages.

I felt like such a responsible person using Crest Pro-Health these last few days every morning. It has a nice bright flavor that makes you feel ready to go in the morning. HOWEVER — as the flavor wears off, this gross metallic flavor sets in — you don’t taste the grossness unless you’re eating or drinking something. The first day at lunch I actually thought there was something wrong with my food and didn’t eat it. Then the next day, at another restaurant, I had the exact same experience. The flavor is awful! I’m just glad I was picky and figured out to stop using it before it caused my teeth to turn brown. This is really an awful product. Back to ACT for me (even though it burns a little).

This garbage put dingy yellow and brown stains on my teeth, especially near the gums. A dental cleaning failed to get them off. If I had known this mouthwash could cause stains, I would never have used it in the first place. If my next dental cleaning fails to remove the yellow on my teeth, P&G may have a lawsuit on their hands. It’s to the point where I don’t want to even talk or smile. These Pro Health products should be illegal.

A couple of days ago I went for my 6-month dental visit and mentioned the “stringy” stuff between my gums. The hygienist noted it on several teeth and we mentioned it to the dentist when he came in to check. I also use the Crest Pro Health toothpaste and liked the flavor so much I started using the Pro-Health rinse as well. Well, he was alarmed at how RED and inflammed my gums were besides the stringy stuff. He indicated that gum problems where periodental disease is not present (I don’t have it), can be a sign of diabetes. I am not diabetic. He had me immediately stop use of both products. He said Pro-Health is very strong and I am having a severe reaction. It’s been a couple of days since I stopped and the redness is subsiding as is the stringy stuff between the teeth at the gumline. The gums are still sore but I think after the professional teeth cleaning on top of the already inflammed gums it only exacerbated the problem. Hopefully in a couple of weeks my gums will be back to normal and the pain gone.

When I use this toothpaste if it foams outside of my mouth it leaves a red trail on my skin. After brushing I look like a vampire or someone who’s been drinking kool-aid for far too long without wiping their mouth off. I’ve never had a toothpaste mustache before using this product, this is a first. I’ve scrubbed and scrubbed, but the staining does not seem to go away without time (much like a permanent marker on your skin.)

Also, when I use this in conjunction with the crest pro health rinse (wintergreen) a nasty white film develops around the inside of my cheeks. It has the appearance and texture of dead skin from my lips if they are severely chapped, but it is much softer and feels like mucus. Don’t buy these two products unless you enjoy sticking your fingers in your mouth and removing film.

The stuff is sick. My wife refuses to kiss me after I brush with it. It seems like it’s getting my teeth really clean while brushing but afterward I’ve got this terrible artificial chemicalish taste in my mouth that takes forever to go away. It makes me really thristy too, and I can’t stop drinking water afterward.

I don’t know why I’m still using it. I guess I don’t want to have wasted my money.

NASTY NASTY STUFF.

I just had a dental checkup and a cleaning. No cavities or problems, everything looked great. Then 2 weeks ago I started using Crest Pro-Health Night. Not only did the cap leak everywhere, but I believe the product started to make my teeth overly sensitive. I feel like I have a million cavities. It hurts whenever I eat or drink anything. So I started brushing MORE because I was worried about the health of my teeth… and every time I brushed they got worse and worse. I am definitely switching to Colgate. Ouch!!!

This is but a sampling of the reviews.

2 comments

February 5, 2008

So, the ‘Missed Connections’ section of Oklahoma City Craigslist (arguably the saddest, most desperate corner of the intarwebz) has been on a roll lately. Such entertainment should not be kept secret.

Also, I decided to commemorate each post as though it was a very specific holiday that allowed such unusual behavior–for that one special day–to be regarded as normal or at least expected. Plus, people are more likely to read stuff with pictures.

[spelling and punctuation is as original posts. bold (and holiday-ized pictures) added for emphasis]

No-left-arm lovely – m4w

You were sitting on a bus bench waiting for the bus. I was driving swiftly by in a blue convertible. You were wearing a short sleeve shirt, jeans, and a prosthetic left arm. Granted we only saw each other for a split second, but in that second I felt a connection. I hope you did too. If so, I can give you a ride next time. Take THAT any way you please

Golden Corral off MacArthur – 48

You were sitting at the table across from me. We kept eyeing each other and smiling. You had the “I am the party” tshirt and I had a white baseball cap on…maybe we can chat

Home Depot Employee Green Hair… – m4w

Long shot…but here it goes. You work at Home Depot in MWC and have green hair. We talked about your Starbucks coffee and Kool menthol addiction. You recently got your braces taken off. I think you are just completely georgous! WOW…lets talk.

Northchurch Sun 1/27 11am service – m4w

You are so beautiful, but you appear to be angry with the world.

You were wearing a red sweater, black pants, and black boots. Gorgeous long dark hair. You appear to be a single mom. You bring your adorable little girl to service with you. I have looked for an opportunity to talk to you a couple of times, but it looks like you might rip my head off. I am hoping someone knows you and can help me get in touch with you. I would love to be your friend.

Email me if you want to get coffee sometime and talk.

Edmond Home Depot This Past Sunday 12:15 pm – m4m – 44

you: tall, dark sweat suit, mustache, ball cap, buying sheetrock, and drove some kind of dark suv type of car, me med height, dark jacket, ball cap. We said “hi” about 5 times and made eye contact twice that. I’d love to buy you a drink, (or a romantic weekend in the Caribbean – your choice!)

oncue 59th western – m4w – 22

i was just wondering if you are single i held the door open {like what gental men do }if so tell me what color my jacket is and my hair u are so beatufil wannna crab a drink

Extrem Moto-X saturday – m4w – 50

Hi we were sitting next to each other at the Lazy E arena Saturday night. You had your son with you and kept getting up to go places. You were wearing a green shirt and blue jeans. Would love to meet you.

Short w/ Red Hair – m4w

You run really fast. I saw you looking for your family in the debris. You gave up and cried. I know it’s not as good as having a son, but how about coffee sometime?
Location: Exploded Building

God bless Craigslist.

0 comments

January 10, 2008

Shreds of the Masters

Basically, some dude dubbed his own (incredibly well-sync’d) mix in place of the original soundtrack of various videos of some of rock history’s most well-known guitarists. The dubs are reminiscent of that guy you see/hear at Guitar Center a-rhythmically murdering bits and pieces of “Stairway to Heaven”. The genius behind these dubs is either an unknowing one that has too much time on his hands, or perhaps he has been commissioned to create some commentary on the death of rock (which probably happened sometime in the late seventies). Whatever the case, the product is surprisingly entertaining.

Carlos Santana

Paco de Lucia

Eric Clapton

Alright… I’ll stop there, but you can click here for more.

1 comments

November 9, 2007

DDHD #30: “Who’s Johnny” by El DeBarge

All credit is due to good friend Russ Edwards for this one. I have known Russ for about six years. I continue to be astounded by his database of widely-forgotten 80’s music. By “widely-forgotten”, I mean that these songs were–by some means other than their actual creative/artistic worth–widely (or subconsciously) known, but almost completely washed from the popular mind with time, often now relegated to the realm of music one hears while on hold with a photocopier repair center.

This video is a perfect example of Russ’ gift.

Why did you know and forget this song? It was featured on the Short Circuit soundtrack. That’s why.

It’s bad for all the usual 1980’s reasons. But, what makes it worse is how absolutely confusing it all is. Perhaps a shoulder-padded Le DeBarge fan could enlighten me, but as I see it, there are three layers to the video that dysfunction off of each other.

The Lyrics – confusing to begin with, they have something to do with a playful relationship about a girl who teases the target of her flirtations by acting as though she doesn’t know him(?). whatever the case, it doesn’t work. A note to all aspiring songwriters: jumping back and forth between perspectives of male and female rarely works well–for one, spoken (or sung) word doesn’t translate quotation marks very well (or at all). And, really, when you have a singer such as this one, inviting any more sexual ambiguity into the equation only adds to the creepy awkwardness.
Goofy Courtroom Setting – Why all this is taking place in a courtroom? Why people get sprayed with a firehose? Why the fireman kick-line? Why not?
Movie Allusions – soundtrack videos seem to have the obligatory inundation with tie-ins to the movie. Not only does this one have the footage from the movie, but they also managed to get the the lead actress from Short Circuit. However, they apparently couldn’t land the movie’s robot star, Johnny 5 (they were able to get a very Johnny 5-esque hand that makes plenty of cameos, reaching from off-screen). However, I don’t think any of this could be counted as a tie-in. The very term seems to hint at some type of logical, thematic stitching of the music video and the movie.

The dialogue created by these layers smashed together makes amounts to babble… good, old-fashioned, uninspired babble.

0 comments

September 21, 2007

Existential Comics

Over the summer, I decided to sample some graphic novels. One of the authors I came across was Chris Ware via his graphic novel Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth. It’s a pessimistic comedy about an adult bastard [traditional definition of the word] that finds and spends some time with his estranged father. It exemplifies Ware’s simple but unique illustration style and his ability of capturing supremely existential moments of loneliness.

One of the wonderful things about Ware is that he is not too heady for his craft. Rather, he has an excellent grasp of it, and can exercise his style in whatever form the genre might take. This can be seen in his clear affection for the traditional comic strip. Granted, the humor is still bitingly pessimistic. But, it makes me chuckle. Does that make me a bad person?

The following is a strip from Ware’s The Acme Novelty Library.

(click for large)

1 comments

August 31, 2007

DDHD #29: “Average Homeboy” by Denny Blazin Hazen

“Once you hear my demo, you’ll just be BLAZED!“

0 comments

August 30, 2007

DDHD #28: “Sex Over the Phone” by The Village People

Wikipedia:

The band was assembled in 1977 by Jacques Morali and Henri Belolo, specifically to showcase and perform their disco music creations. The original ad for recruiting the group was “Macho Types Wanted: Must Have Moustache” and was placed by Jacques Morali in 1976. Much like Frank Farian’s Boney M or The Spice Girls, the group was manufactured. Despite the French songwriters, the songs were all in English.

The band’s name references New York City’s Greenwich Village neighborhood, at the time known for having a substantial gay population. Jacques Morali and Henri Belolo got the inspiration for creating an assembly of American man archetypes based on the gay men of The Village who frequently dressed in various fantasy ways.

0 comments

August 29, 2007

DDHD #27: “Automatic Lover” by Dee D. Jackson

Wikipedia:

Her next attempt was the release of her biggest single ever, “Automatic Lover” (also 1978), a hit all over the world. A futuristic song about a robot who falls in love with an intergalactic girl, the song reached #4 on the UK Singles Chart, #1 in Brazil, Argentina, Italy, France, Spain, Turkey, Germany and Japan. In Brazil the success was so huge that the Brazilian media produced its own version of Dee D. Jackson. A Brazilian girl (Regina Shakti) dressed like Jackson, and along with her robot and a meteor man, were introduced on TV programs there as the real Dee D. Jackson.

…Mofo TV?

0 comments

August 28, 2007

DDHD #26: “Do the Limbo Dance” by David Hasselhoff

Everyone can thank comrade David Shook for DDHD’s obligatory dose of “The Hoff”. This little gem made it to number #12 and #19 on the charts in Germany and Switzerland, respectively.

Thank you, The Dartmouth Review:

â€œThere are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me.â€ -David Hasselhoff

0 comments

August 27, 2007

DDHD #25: “It’s Raining Men” by The Weather Girls

Wikipedia:

They were previously known as Two Tons O’ Fun… The current members of the group are sisters Dynelle Rhodes and Ingrid Arthur, who are the daughters of [one of the original members], who died in 2004. They released a new Weather Girls album titled, Totally Wild in late 2005. It scored a huge #1 underground club hit with “Wild Thang.” Like the original Weather Girls, the duo has proven very successful with its gay male core audience.